Temperature Fish Hat

Misheard lyrics from Sean Pauls Temperature.

 

Actually I think these may be the correct official lyrics.

Sean Paul doesn't even come from Angola.

Not My Lamb

The Billie Jean sung by an Indian Michael auditioning for Malaysian Idol back in 2004.

 

 

 

Listen to the otter.

 

Hair Limp Forever

Despite previously deciding to move away from misheard lyrics, I find I'm posting another.

 

It's My Life was released as a single in May 2000, the song hit #1 across several countries (although it only reached #33 in the US), giving the song the distinction of making Bon Jovi the only 80s hair metal band to reach the top 40 in the 21st century.

 

 

An Excess of Farrisses

If you listen to the song I Need You Tonight by INXS you'll realise it's about plastic surgery addiction.  One of the lines is clearly:

"Your boobs are so long
   They've got to hit your nose"

 

The lyrics to Biting Bullets have something to do with aquatic mythological battles in the lines:
"Fighting mermaids,
   fighting around!!"

While the lyrics to the song Mystify are clearly a reference to lead singer Michael Hutchence hiding behind his hotel door:
"Mister find, Mister find me
   Mister find, Mister find me"

 

 

The origins of the band that was later to become INXS, began in 1977 with Andrew Farriss convincing his fellow High School classmate, Michael Hutchence, to join his band called Doctor Dolphin.  It was a terrible name but even at this early age, Hutchence enjoyed playing with his pink dolphin.  With three Farriss brothers in the now seven piece band (Andrew, Jon and Tim) they decided to rename themselves as The Farriss Brothers.

 

 

In 1978, The parents of the Farriss boys relocated to Perth, taking Jon to continue his schooling and, as soon as Hutchence and Andrew finished school, the rest of the band followed.  In Perth, for some inexplicable reason, they briefly performed as The Vegetables, singing "We Are the Vegetables", before returning to Sydney ten months later.

 

At a chance meeting in a Sydney pub car park, Tim was approached by Gary Morris, the manager of Midnight Oil. The band began to regularly support Midnight Oil and other local bands again under the name The Ferris Brothers during which time Morris advised that a member of Midnight Oils crew had come up with a less crappy band name and he suggested they change it.  The name INXS was inspired by English band XTC and Australian jam makers IXL.

 

Forgetting The Jam

Even Flow by Pearl Jam.

Right from the early days of their debut album, Pearl Jam delivered a consistently even flow of misheard lyrics.

 



 

Even flow features lyrics written and sung by Eddie Vedder and music written by guitarist Stone Gossard.  It's the guitar playing in particular that you should listen out for.  If you listen closely to the guitar solo you'll hear Gossard begin his...

 

I forget.

 

Rancid Shopping

Listening to Action! Not Words by Def Leppard, Joe Elliott is singing:

"I'm sick and tired of the dancing tree,
 I'm gonna make my own movie"

and

"Shopping! Make it rancid
 Shopping! Make it last"

 

The thing about Def Leppard is through most of their career they've had a surplus of hair (enough hair to support more than three bands) but have suffered a shortage of arms.  On the 1984/85 new years eve, drummer Rick Allen swerved his Corvette off the road and went through a drystone wall, he lost his left arm in the car crash.  Allen endeavoured to continue as Def Leppards drummer, realising that he could use his legs to do some of the drumming work previously done with his arms and designing a custom electronic drum kit.  Allen practised in a separate studio with his new drums for several months before rejoining the band.

 

Oh Four Tuna

O Fortuna is actually a medieval Latin Goliardic poem written early in the 13th century.  Some time around 1935-36, O Fortuna was set to music by the German composer Carl Orff as a part of movement Fortuna Imperatrix Mundi of his cantata Carmina Burana.  Orff's musical setting of the poem has become immensely popular and has been performed by countless classical and popular music artists. It features in numerous movies and television commercials and has become one of the most played classical music pieces in the past 75 years.

If you listen closely you're realise it's a song all about food.

 

The original medieval poem is a complaint about fate and the Roman giddess Fortuna, the personification of luck.  Here's the original  Latin Goliardic version with translation:

 

O Fortuna velut luna statu variabilis, semper crescis aut decrescis; vita detestabilis nunc obdurat et tunc curat ludo mentis aciem, egestatem, potestatem dissolvit ut glaciem. Sors immanis et inanis, rota tu volubilis, status malus, vana salus semper dissolubilis, obumbrata et velata michi quoque niteris; nunc per ludum dorsum nudum fero tui sceleris. Sors salutis et virtutis michi nunc contraria, est affectus et defectus semper in angaria. Hac in hora sine mora corde pulsum tangite; quod per sortem sternit fortem, mecum omnes plangite!

O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing and waning; hateful life first oppresses and then soothes as fancy takes it; poverty and power it melts them like ice. Fate – monstrous and empty, you whirling wheel, you are malevolent, well-being is vain and always fades to nothing, shadowed and veiled you plague me too; now through the game I bring my bare back to your villainy. Fate is against me in health and virtue, driven on and weighted down, always enslaved. So at this hour without delay pluck the vibrating strings; since Fate strikes down the strong man, everyone weep with me!

 

Axl Mansons Spaghetti Incident

In the Guns N' Roses song Paradise City, Axle rose can be heard to sing:

"Take me down to a very nice city where your ass is green and the grills are pretty"

And in their song Sweet Child O' Mine you can hear the lines:

"She's got eyes of the bluest skies as if she were insane
I'd hate to look into those eyes and see a mountain range"

If you listen closely to the song Welcome to the Jungle, Axl may be making a plea of his idol Charles Manson, he sings:

"Be on my, my, my surfin' team"

In video for Estranged Axl can be seen wearing a black Manson shirt. He also can be seen wearing a red Manson shirt in footage from the performance in Milton Keynes, England (1993).  His red Manson shirt has "Charlie Don't Surf" printed on the back.

In November of 1993, Guns N' Roses released a collection of punk and glam rock covers entitled The Spaghetti Incident?.  An unadvertised cover of Charles Manson's song Look at Your Game, Girl was included on the album at Rose's request despite protests from Rose's band mates.  The CD release gave no track number to the song and could only be found by listening through the silence after the final documented track on the album.

Later, in early 2000, Axl said that he would remove Look at Your Game, Girl from re-issues of the album, citing that critics and popular media "misinterpreted his interest in Manson" and that "a misunderstanding public no longer deserved to hear it".  However, the song is still present on the album, and recent re-issues have the song as a separate 13th track.

Smells Like Annunciation

Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana became an instant classic for misheard lyrics when it was released from their Nevermind album in 1991. Not surprising considering Cobains preoccupation with mumbled angst.

 

 

There should be a covenant between record labels, radio stations and musicians that says you may not publish a song without passing an annunciation test. Radio stations could tell emerging artists "No, we can't play your song because none of us understand a word you're singing".

Cooking Kraken

The Beatles obviously hungry and had food on their mind when they recorded Come Together, the opening track on their Abbey Road album. 

If you listen closely you will realise its a proposal to use a giant squid to feed a legion of aged bingo players.

John Lennon sings:

"He one spine o' Kraken

  He got wonky bingo"

and

"One thing I can tell you is you got to eat cheese

  Come together over meat"

Calamari rings the size of car tyres!

Animutopia Conquest

The third and final instalment of the three part Colin Mochrie vs. Jesus H. Christ animutation series by Andrew Kepple. The Conquest of Animutopia.

I think the previous two instalments had catchier music, but this one rounds off the underlying story and has a few mental extras at the end.

Eds Mexican Reggae

The Eagles Hotel California is the title song from the Eagles' album of the same name, released as a single in February 1977. The first working title the music had (before the lyrics were decided) was "Mexican Reggae".

Over the years the abstract nature of the lyrics has led many people to devise their own interpretations. Rumours once circulated that the hotel was in fact the Camarillo State Mental Hospital. Also in the 1980s, some Christian evangelist groups alleged that it referred to a San Francisco hotel purchased by Anton LaVey and converted into the Church of Satan. But if you listen closely you will realise the song is actually a reference to hair gel, flatulence and the talking horse from the TV show Mr Ed. Don Henley is actually singing:

"On a dock, there's a highway. Cool Whip in my hair.
 Warm smell of released gas rising up through the air."

and
"Then she lit up a Ken doll, And she showed me the way.
 There were horses down the corny door, thought I heard them say."

as well as
"So I called up the Captain, Please bring me my wife.
 He said, We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty nine.
 And still those horses were calling from far away."

Plan 9 From Underpants

The second instalment of the three part Colin Mochrie vs. Jesus H. Christ animutation series by Andrew Kepple.  The music is "De Kabouterdans" (the lepricondance) from a Dutch kids TV show called Kabouter Plop (lepricorn plop ?). You can obtain the free MP3 of the music here if you like it that much.

The included "St3reo Vision" will actually work if you cross your eyes, but it may give you a headache.  That "Slap me round, Olsen clowns" line is going to be spinning in  your head for years.

Bobs Pets & Peas

If you listen closely to Blowing in the Wind by Bob Dylan you can hear:

"The ants are my friends,
they're blowin' in the wind
The ants are a-blowin' in the wind."

In Not Dark Yet the lyrics go:

"My sensitive manatee has gone down the drain."

In his song Man of Peace Dylan makes reference to the Exorcist:

"You know sometimes Satan comes as a can of peas."

Not surprising that Bob Dylan would turn up with some misheard lyrics considering his poor diction and frequent nasal tones. I'm sure if he turned up on Australian Idol the judges wouldn’t let him past the first stage audition for those same reasons.

I know he's not huge on material things but considering how successful he is and how often he is in the public eye, you'd think by now he would splash out and buy a comb.

French Erotic Film

In 1999 a thirteen year old called Neil Cicierega made a flash animation mashing his favourite pop culture images with misheard interpretations of music from the original Japanese Pokemon.  In doing so he created a new art form which, years later, was given the name Animutation.

One of my favourite animutation artists is Andrew Kepple, in particular his three-part Flash series entitled, Colin Mochrie versus Jesus H. Christ.  Here's the youtube version of the first instalment of the series entitled "French Erotic Film"

Despite the Scottish overtones in the Animutation video, the song by Ome Henk is actually in Dutch.

Jeffs Peril

If you listen closely to the Christmas song Deck the Halls you'll hear:

"Dawn we now our day of peril.
Fa la la la la, la la la lah."

and

"Strike the heart, enjoy the florist.
Fa la la la la, la la la lah."

Also in the Christmas song entitled The Chrismas Song, the words are:

"Jeffs nuts roasting on an open fire."

That'll teach him not to fall asleep.

Mumbled Angst

Yellow Ledbetter by Perl Jam.  A 90's classic that nobody has ever actually heard the real lyrics to.  Not even the members of Pearl Jam know the words, a fact that Eddie Vedder admits in the song.

That's the trouble with grunge musicians, they don't articulate their words properly.  Even Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols had good enunciation.  None of this mumbled angst, he knew how to get his message across.

Make me fries.

 

Abba Kung Fu

Abba was way ahead of their time, if you listen closely to their song Take a Chance on Me you will realise that it's about Jackie Chan. The lyrics go:

"If you chance your mind (Jackie Chan)
  I'm the first in line (Jackie Chan)"

Quite surprising considering at the time of the songs 1976 release, Jacky was still only being cast in supporting roles after much uncredited stunt work. On further listening it turns out Abba had a strong kung fu theme in several of their songs like in their song Dancing Queen:

"See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen"

And also, if you listen carefully to their song Chiquitita they sing:

"Kick her teeth out, tell me what's wrong"

It Ain't a Sea

In their song This ain't a Scene, Fall Out Boy is most definately singing:

"This aint a sea its a god damn arse face."

and

"I'm a little man and I'm also evil, also into cats."

Yep, it's a song about a little evil man who likes cats.

Mustafas Chocolate Phlegm

If you lsiten closely to Men At Works song Who Can It Be Now you will hear them sing "I like it here with my chocolate phlegm".

In Midnight Oils song Short Memory Peter Garrett is absoloutely singing "Short memory Mustafa, short memory".

Well what do you expect from a politician who looks like Voldemort and dances like parkinsons.