Valentine Dictatorship

Secret Love

It's not even photo shopped!  This changes the dynamics completely!

Redless Day

On average, men shell out more than double the money than women do on valentines gifts. Men buy most of the millions of boxes of chocolates and bouquets of flowers given on Valentine's Day.  Women purchase approximately 85% of all valentines cards, men purchase 73% of Valentines Day flowers and around 15% of women send themselves valentines flowers.  In order of popularity, Valentine's Day cards are given to teachers, children, mothers, wives, sweethearts and pets. About 3% of pet owners will give valentines gifts to their pets.

 

For some reason the Italian city of Verona receives about 1,000 letters each year addressed to Juliet from William Shakespeare's play.  Her admirers seem to have forgotten she dies at the end of the play.

 

Valentine's Day is banned in Saudi Arabia. The nation has a religious police force that uphold the annual ban with support from the Commission for Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice. Everything related to the holiday is prohibited - chocolates, flowers, gifts, even the colour red. Nothing red can be worn or sold on Valentine’s Day in Saudi Arabia, florists put away their red roses and store owners take down anything that’s red, heart–shaped, or vaguely Valentine’s Dayish. The penalty for defying these orders is the store being shut down. Individuals are also not supposed to wear anything red on Valentine’s Day. If they do, they will be denied entry into school, work, stores wherever they go.  The ban is based on Islamic legal ruling against pagan holidays, under order of the religious police.

 

 

Here Fluffy

Not everyone has heard the song Fluffy by Gloria Balsam, but those who have can never forget it.

 

 

Gloria originally performed with her group Psychotic Pineapple mostly performing locally until one day in 1978, Gloria and Psychotic Pineapple were performing at the Berkeley Campus of the University of California, opening for Talking Heads. As she sang, her shrill reverberated around the valley entrancing one Jeff Finder, sitting on the hill side.  Jeff was heir to a Californian newspaper and his hypnotic entrancement extended to putting up the finance required for Glorias single.

 

 

One thousand copies of Fluffy were pressed in the spring 1980 on the Richmond label, many copies finding their way to alternative radio stations. The single gained airplay in Boston and New York and a few copies even made it to the UK and Australia. Gloria’s pinnacle came when Fluffy was featured on Rhino’s World’s Worst Records.  Shortly afterwards Gloria opened at the Mabuhay for Devo, the Jim Carrol Band, Dead Kennedys, the Cramps, the Offs and many others.

 

 

Prince Devo

In the fairy tail Snow White, Prince Charming was a complete deviant.  As I recall part of the story, Snow White eats the poison apple and the dwarves consider her dead so they put her in a glass coffin.  Some prince rides past on his horse, sees the coffin and decides to kiss the dead body of some woman he's never seen before.  Not only does he kiss the corpse of some strange woman, the fact that he discovers the piece of poison apple in her mouth shows that he must have used his tongue.  "Prince Charming" is the sort of guy who sneaks into mortuaries and tongue pashes dead bodies.

Well as it turns out, the deeper you did the worse the character of "Prince Charming" becomes.  The whole wake the girl up with a kiss is a much later version of the story.  The original version has the prince telling his servants to carry the coffin back to his palace and the apple is dislodged when they trip.  One can only imagine what disgusting things "Prince Charming" planned to do with some dead woman he found in the forest when he gets the body home in private.

All evidence point towards the fact that "Prince Charming" was a necrophiliac corpse grinder. Those dwarves weren’t so nice either, in the original story they were robbers not miners...  Anyway here's Snow White and the Dwarves Rammstien style.

Valentines Heart

It's that day of the year again to share your heart with someone you love.

Chicken Love

Love Among The Chickens by P.G Woedhouse.

 The bespectacled character in the centre of the picture, appears to be contemplating the chicken that is more attractively drawn than the others on the cover.  The man behind him seems to be looking at him in shocked disbelief at his contemplation.  Meanwhile the woman in the background is looking away covering her eyes in disgust and the chicken appears to be dry retching.

All in all a finger licking good book cover that may leave a fowl taste in your mouth.