Lion-Eating Poet

The Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den is a 92-character tongue-twister poem written in Classical Chinese by Yuen Ren Chao (1892–1982). Because Chinese is a tonal language, it is possible to take a tongue-twister to the extreme in Chinese, where all the words have the same sound but vary only in their tones.

Traditional Chinese:

施氏食獅史
石室詩士施氏，嗜獅，誓食十獅。
氏時時適市視獅。
十時，適十獅適市。
是時，適施氏適市。
氏視是十獅，恃矢勢，使是十獅逝世。
氏拾是十獅屍，適石室。
石室濕，氏使侍拭石室。
石室拭，氏始試食是十獅。
食時，始識是十獅屍，實十石獅屍。
試釋是事。


Pinyin (phonetic translation):

Shī Shì shí shī shǐ
Shíshì shīshì Shī Shì, shì shī, shì shí shí shī.
Shì shíshí shì shì shì shī.
Shí shí, shì shí shī shì shì.
Shì shí, shì Shī Shì shì shì.
Shì shì shì shí shī, shì shǐ shì, shǐ shì shí shī shìshì.
Shì shí shì shí shī shī, shì shíshì.
Shíshì shī, Shì shǐ shì shì shíshì.
Shíshì shì, Shì shǐ shì shí shì shí shī.
Shí shí, shǐ shí shì shí shī shī, shí shí shí shī shī.
Shì shì shì shì.

English Translation:

Lion-Eating Poet in the Stone Den
In a stone den was a poet called Shi Shi, who was a lion addict, and had resolved to eat ten lions.
He often went to the market to look for lions.
At ten o'clock, ten lions had just arrived at the market.
At that time, Shi had just arrived at the market.
He saw those ten lions, and using his trusty arrows, caused the ten lions to die.
He brought the corpses of the ten lions to the stone den.
The stone den was damp. He asked his servants to wipe it.
After the stone den was wiped, he tried to eat those ten lions.
When he ate, he realized that these ten lions were in fact ten stone lion corpses.
Try to explain this matter.

 

 

A Red Right Hand

The Red Right Hand a mystery by Joel Twensley Rogers and not Nick Cave.

 

One of Nick Caves signature songs Red Right Hand, was written in 1994 depicting a mysterious character appearing on the edge of town. In the song Song of Joy from his Murder Ballads album Cave reveals the phrase is from a line in John Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost that refers to the vengeful hand of God. Nick Sings:

"It seems he has done many, many more,
  quotes John Milton on the walls in the victim's blood.
  The police are investigating at tremendous cost.
  In my house he wrote 'his red right hand'.
  That, I'm told, is from Paradise Lost."

The appearance in Paradise Lost (Book II, 170-174) is:

"What if the breath that kindled those grim fires,
  Awaked, should blow them into sevenfold rage,
  And plunge us in the flames; or from above
  Should intermitted vengeance arm again
  His red right hand to plague us?"

 

The original term itself appears to be Milton's translation of the term "rubente dextra" in Horace's Ode i.2,2

 

So it would appear that the mystery contained in this book is a story of bloody vengeance, and not excessive masturbation after all.

Shakespeares Star Wars

And before you ask, yes it's a real script.

Huxley vs Orwell

People often talk about George Orwells book Nineteen Eighty-Four as a despairing vision of the future, however,  Brave New World by Aldous Huxley is in fact a far more insightful.  Some time ago I found this comic strip by Stuart McMillen which its self is an interpretation of the book a book Amusing Ourselves To Death: Public disclosure in the age of show business by Niel Postman.  Postman shows that Huxley is far more accurate in it's premonition of the future than Orwell.  A future that is now not in the future any more, it is in fact the present day!  Huxleys Brave New World was published in 1932, Orwells Nineteen Eighty-Four was published in 1949.

 

Lets see how they compare through Stuart McMillens comic strip...

 

 

So there you have it. Huxley was the visionary, Orwell just gets discussed more because Nineteen Eighty-Four is in all the high school reading curriculums, almost no one has read Brave New World these days. See Huxley was right again.

 

If you want more go see Stuart McMillen here or Neil Postman here.

 

 

Jane Austen Quote

In Jane Austen’s book Northanger Abbey this rather revealing sentence can be found:

"Such was Catherine Morland at ten. At fifteen appearances were mending; she began to curl her hair and long for balls."

Like a carnival clown?






No, not those sort of balls.

Not that sort either.

Prince Devo

In the fairy tail Snow White, Prince Charming was a complete deviant.  As I recall part of the story, Snow White eats the poison apple and the dwarves consider her dead so they put her in a glass coffin.  Some prince rides past on his horse, sees the coffin and decides to kiss the dead body of some woman he's never seen before.  Not only does he kiss the corpse of some strange woman, the fact that he discovers the piece of poison apple in her mouth shows that he must have used his tongue.  "Prince Charming" is the sort of guy who sneaks into mortuaries and tongue pashes dead bodies.

Well as it turns out, the deeper you did the worse the character of "Prince Charming" becomes.  The whole wake the girl up with a kiss is a much later version of the story.  The original version has the prince telling his servants to carry the coffin back to his palace and the apple is dislodged when they trip.  One can only imagine what disgusting things "Prince Charming" planned to do with some dead woman he found in the forest when he gets the body home in private.

All evidence point towards the fact that "Prince Charming" was a necrophiliac corpse grinder. Those dwarves weren’t so nice either, in the original story they were robbers not miners...  Anyway here's Snow White and the Dwarves Rammstien style.

Lonliest Ho

A Christmas themed book cover, The Loneliest Ho in the World by Travis Heaton.

It gets very lonely hoing for Santa up around the North Pole.

Mark Antony

Classical literature, especially Shakespeare, can be a bit heavy going to read, but it's not until you really get into it that you can appreciate the emotional richness of the characters.  You can see what I mean in this speech of Mark Antonys from Julius Cesar.  This is at Cesars funeral where Brutas has left Antony to speak to the crowd and they are calling for revenge.  I've included some of the crowd dialogue to give it context.

 

First Citizen:

O most bloody sight!

Second Citizen:
We will be revenged.

Crowd:
Revenge! About! Seek! Burn! Fire! Kill! Slay! Let not a traitor live!

ANTONY:
Stay, countrymen.

First Citizen:
Peace there! hear the noble Antony.

Second Citizen:
We'll hear him, we'll follow him, we'll die with him.

ANTONY:
Good friends, sweet friends, let me not stir you up
To such a sudden flood of mutiny.
They that have done this deed are honourable:
What private griefs they have, alas, I know not,

That made them do it: they are wise and honourable,

And will, no doubt, with reasons answer you.
I come not, friends, to steal away your hearts:
I am no orator, as Brutus is;
But, as you know me all, a plain blunt man,
That love my friend; and that they know full well

That gave me public leave to speak of him:
For I have neither wit, nor words, nor worth,
Action, nor utterance, nor the power of speech,
To stir men's blood: I only speak right on;

I come to spread joy; when she arrives let me know.
People ask if I can get it up in the morning.
I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind.

Oh hang on. No, that's from a Rodney Dangerfield movie.

Nude Croquet

Continuing with theme a few weeks ago on books I haven’t read.  Here’s another book I haven’t read, Nude Croquet by Leslie A. Fiedler.

All you have to do is look around and you’ll agree that there is no doubt about the statement everything is more fun when done naked and croquet is no exception.

All you have to do is look around, or try for yourself, and you’ll agree that there is no doubt about the old saying "Everything is more fun when done naked". 

Sky diving, running through cricket matches, pilates, ironing, using power tools and showering are all more fun naked, croquet is no exception.

When you think about it, it’s the only way to play.

In other book news, I’m glad to see that Brian Lumley has a new book out for his Necroscope series.  Necroscope: The Plague Bearer is the most recent addition to the now fifteen novels and two short story collections. 

The books present release is only as a special edition leather-bound hardback (very old school like the author).  I’m hanging out for the Australian paperback release next year some time.

How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read

If you don't read many books and if you only read one book this year this is the book it should be. I know people always say that about books but seriously this is the book to read if you don't read much it's How to Talk about Books You Haven't Read by Pierre Bayard.

The author contends that the truly cultivated person is not the one who has read a book, but the one who understands the book's place in our culture. Bayard examines the many kinds of 'non-reading' (forgotten books, unknown books, books discussed by others, books we've skimmed briefly) and the situations in which we are called upon to discuss our reading with others (in class, with our loved ones, with the book's author etc). He challenges everyone to consider what reading means, and how and why we spend so much time talking about what we have or haven't, read.

I contend that the author has in fact written one of the most useful books of the oncoming century. Never again will you need to actually read any books to convey how well read you obviously are. Merely skimming the back cover, or perhaps watching a DVD featuring the latest Hollywood sensation, will be all you need for others to see how expansive your literary knowledge is.

For the record, I myself have not read this book. But, considering the title, I felt it wasn't really necessary to do so.