What Matters Most In Life

 

 



All You Think About

Serious Engineering

I'm posting mistranslated signs and product labels all this year.

Arthur Satirical Clarke

Dildo Island

Dildo Cay by Nelson Hayes.

 

 

Although they form from sand on the surface of a coral reef, a cay (or key) can become a habitable and agriculturally rich island for hundreds of thousands of people.

 

But what's important to know is that Dildo Island is a real place!

 

Dildo Island is an island in the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labrador. It is the largest of three islands located at the entrance to Dildo Arm in the bottom of Trinity Bay, off the coast of the neighbouring town of Dildo.  The locals even run Dildo Island adventure tours for people open minded enough to experiment.

 

 

In 1995, an archaeological excavation discovered Dorset artefacts dated to between 150AD and 750AD on Dildo Island. It is believed that these people camped on Dildo Island for the purpose of seal hunting or possibly swinging.

 

 

 

Genital Cleanliness

I have a new hygiene theory.

When you’re a guy and you go to the toilet, you need to touch your genitals to point yourself in the right direction.  When you’re done it is common practice that you wash your hands after (although studies show that about 20% of adults don’t). My theory is though, for the average person, the hand is actually less clean than their genitals.

Have a think about it, all day you walk around touching grubby door handles and hand rails then you go touch your genitals when you go to the toilet, clean your hand then go handle some germ covered money, open bin lids and go touch yourself in the toilet and make your penis even more germ contaminated.  Then you go home and you want your partner to put it in their mouth.

What would be much better would be to wash your hands before you go touch yourself in the toilet.  That way the only filth on your genitals is the crusty stuff from the previous night that wouldn't wash off.

Here's a nice sign:

Because the last thing you want is dirty genitals touching your food.