Kissing Dogg

If I Ever Kiss It... He Can Kiss It Goodbye by Swamp Dogg.

 

The question remains: Kiss what?

 

 



Romantic Sounds

Romantica by Martin Denny and his lush and exotic sounds for the Valentine month.

The original 1961 LP cover was replaced with a less creepy version in later re-releases.

 

 

Wierd Beard

This months LP is The Weird And The Beard which I'm guessing is a self titled album.

 

 

So it's The Weird And The Beard by The Weird And The Beard and not by the Evil Proclaimers.

 

Murder and Music

Helter Stupid by Negativland.  Released in 1989 it was their third concept album.

 

The first half of the album is composed of the tracks "Prologue" and "Helter Stupid". The two together form an extended piece lasting over 22 minutes. The concept, and some of the sampled material, came from a San Francisco television news program that was taken in by a media hoax perpetrated by Negativland while promoting its previous album, Escape from Noise. Other samples used included those from Rev. Estus Pirkle (further samples from the same sermon used in the band's signature song, "Christianity Is Stupid"), an interview with Charles Manson, and "Helter Skelter" by The Beatles.

 

  

Parts of the "Perfect Cut" tracks on Side 2 draw from samples of "The Winning Score", a 1977 presentation by TM Century, producers of radio jingles and imaging.

In 2000, the band Chumbawamba, in reply to the EP The ABCs of Anarchism, used this album as one of their main sampling sources of WYSIWYG.

 

Sci-Fi Action

I have no idea what this LP is about...

...It's from Japan.

Brisk Love

My Mother's Brisket & Other Love Songs by Rick Moranis (Short for Frederick not Richard)

 

The brisket muscles include the superficial and deep pectorals. As cattle do not have collar bones, these muscles support about 60% of the body weight of standing/moving cattle. This requires a significant amount of connective tissue, so the resulting meat must be cooked correctly to tenderize the connective tissue.

 

Brisket can be cooked many ways and is often basted during the cooking process. A tough cut of meat due to the collagen fibres that make up the significant connective tissue in the cut, the brisket is tenderized when the collagen gelatinizes. The fat cap, which is often left attached to the brisket, helps to keep the meat from drying during the prolonged cooking necessary to break down the connective tissue in the meat.

 

But this album has little to do with cooking.

 

 

4 Hands

Look Ma! 4 Hands by The Twin Conn Organs.

Four hands certainly come in handy any time you have to handle twin organs, and you have double the chance of a happy ending.

Good Hand Jives

Music for Hand Jiving from London Records.

Before the internet people had to rely on record stores to supply their fun, and you could purchase a record for any occasion.  Back in the 1950's hand jiving was not just dancing for people too lazy to get up and dance, but was an art form in its self.  Involving a complicated pattern of hand moves and claps at various parts of the body, authentic hand jiving imitates various percussion instruments. Hand jive moves include thigh slapping, cross-wrist slapping, fist pounding, hand clapping, and even hitch hike thumbs. It may some times be mistaken for a highly elaborate version of Pat-a-cake.

 

 

Solid Ham

Solid Gold Hammond by Harry Stoneham.

I'm divided whether I should comment on her being turned on by his solid gold organ, or if she's getting a bit of his stone-hard ham.

Crazy Cat

Best Coasts 2010 debut LP, Crazy for You.

After a string of 7-inch and cassette-only singles, the band signed to Mexican Summer, who issued the band's debut album. Crazy for You became an unexpected commercial success, some of which may be attributed to the cat.

 

You can find their YouTube channel here.

 

North Korea coast is best coast.

 

 

 

Easter Hammer

For Easter season, this months LP is Here Comes The Hammer by M.C. Hammer.

 

 

Actually a twelve inch single, it presents as quite a disturbing record cover.

 

 

Who Touch

 He Touched Me performed by Greg Kendrick.

They have laws against that.  The young Greg Kendrick appears to be the one touching himself.  Perhaps he's been watching too much Dr Who, far too closely.

Richard

This months album is Dick.  Just Dick.

Dicks head is on the cover of Dicks album letting us all know it's full of Dicks songs.
Dick hopes you will enjoy Dick.

Sporty Pulse

Sport and Music by Pulse.

 

The late 80's was even more awesome in Russia.  Stop pretending you don't want  an awesome leisure suit with matching hat like that one.

Dalek Christmas Song

Christmas season already.
More Daleks.

I'm Gonna Spend My Christmas With a Dalek by The Go Go's.

The Go-Go's were a semi-professional group from Newcastle and released I'm Gonna Spend My Christmas With a Dalek in 1964 at the height of the original Dalek-mania (not unlike Beatle-mania but without the haircuts). The vocals were by lead singer Sue Smith with one of the male members of the group providing a dodgy, nasal Dalek voice.
 

Lyrics:

I bring you gree-tings from all Da-leks (Dalek voice)
I'm gonna spend my Christmas with a Dalek,
And hug him under the mistletoe
And if he's very nice
I'll feed him sugar spice
And hang Christmas stocking from his big lead toe
And when we both get up on Christmas morning
I'll kiss him on his chromium-plated head
And take him in to say hi to Mum
And frighten daddy out of his bed!

Merry Christmas
Mer-ry Christ-mas (Dalek voice)
Happy Christmas
Hap-py Christ-mas (Dalek voice)
Merry Christmas
Mer-ry Christ-mas (Dalek voice)
To you

I wish to be your friend (Dalek voice)
Please may I have some more plum pud-ding and cus-tard? (Dalek voice)
I'm gonna spend my Christmas with a Dalek,
And if I make him happy he will stay
He'll go (whoop) and (whirr) and twiddle his eye
And then my little Dalek will say

Merry Christmas
Christ-mas Tree (Dalek voice)
Happy Christmas
Mist-le-toe (Dalek voice)
Merry Christmas
Mer-ry Christ-mas (Dalek voice)
To you

Merry Christmas
I love you (Dalek voice)
Happy Christmas
You love me (Dalek voice)
Merry Christmas
Mer-ry Christ-mas (Dalek voice)
To you

Merry Christmas
More-plum-pudding (Dalek voice)
Happy Christmas
More-cus-tard... (Dalek voice)
(fade out)

Monkey Theme

Best record ever. I want this.

Chirping Bugs

The Songs of Insects...

Just what you want on a quiet night, a recording of one of the most annoying sounds in nature.

Puppet Intimacy

Amen by Beverly Massegee with Eric.

Human puppet intimate relationships are more common than most people think.  But I don't think you should go singing songs about it.

Chinese Beatles

Meet The Beatles... when they were Chinese.

 

Because no self respecting, Chinese music lover is going to buy an LP of a bunch of round eyed devils.

 

 

Shatner Transformed

The Transformed Man by William Shatner.

 

No this is not Captain Kirk trying to be a robot in disguise to sneak onto the Next Generation series. Released in 1968, this is Shatner's staccato vocal style reciting famous pieces of poetry  juxtaposed with contemporary pop lyrics of the era.

 

 



But true Shatner enthusiasts can never co past the 2004 album entitled Has Been, produced and arranged by Ben Folds including songs composed by Shatner and Folds, in particular its sole cover song, a version of Pulp's "Common People" performed with Joe Jackson.

 

Presented here in a bonus Archie comic format.