Tarzan Presley

In my quest for questionable book covers to review, I have once again discovered an obscure book I absolutely need to read. Behold  Tarzan Presley by Nigel Cox.

Now normally I'd be commenting on how the depiction of Tarzan Presley has only a thin fern to hide his naked genitals, prompting the similarly clad woman to give a look of disappointment as she lowers her binoculars, along with the irony that the authors name is Cox.  But not this time.  This time we read story outline on the back cover:

 

"Raised by gorillas in the wild jungles of New Zealand, scarred by battles with vicious giant weta, seduced by a beautiful scientist, discovered by Memphis record producer Sam Phillips and adored by millions, the dirt-to-dreams life story of Tarzan Presley is as legendary as his 30 number one hits.

But that story came to a dramatic end in 1977 when Tarzan topped himself. Now a big breakthrough as a new manuscript left by Tarzan is discovered we are able to find out what really happened and what it really felt like to be Tarzan Presley."

 

It's the Elvis story. it's the Tarzan story. It's a book I need to read.  Sadly this book will not be reprinted because not only has the imaginative author died but because of copyright issues (the Tarzan people got irate at the use of the Tarzan image).  Even more sadly, on further investigation Tarzan Presley (printed in 2004) is not just an obscure book but is in fact a modern rare book with the average asking price of $1500.

Not My Lamb

The Billie Jean sung by an Indian Michael auditioning for Malaysian Idol back in 2004.

 

 

 

Listen to the otter.

 

Genital Dining

In May 2012 Japanese illustrator Mao Sugiyama, who usually goes by the nickname HC, offered to cook an extra special meal.  In April the illustrator had his genitals surgically removed and frozen in preparation. The following month, five diners paid a share of  ¥100,000 to eat HC's plate of privates.

 

 

Sugiyama had initially considered eating his genitals himself but decided to invite guests and make a party of it.  Approximately 70 salivating people attended the event on May 18 to watch five individuals chow down on Sugiyama’s cooked penis, testicles and scrotum while they made do with beef and crocodile.  HC publicly seasoned and braised his own genitals on a portable gas cartridge burner, under the supervision of a chef.  The privates were soused in wine in a frying pan and served with Italian parsley and garnished with button mushrooms.  But what I'm sure you are thinking is: how did it taste?  One of the diners described the meal as “Tough! Like chewing some tough rubber.”

 

 

HC's genital banquet was dubbed Ham Cybele (Century Banquet), at the Asagaya Loft A event space in the Suginami district of Tokyo. Century in Japanese is a homophone for the Japanese word for genitals and Ham Cybele refers to the Anatolian mother goddess, prefixed with a word for tough meat to create a phrase whose initials match Sugiyama’s artist name of HC.  HC also had his nipples removed but they were not on the menu.  Sugiyam considers himself asexual and said he would not have his male genitalia replaced with female ones.

 

As usual an the event spawned the usual legal shenanigans, however, the organisers apparently went to some pains to cover themselves, making sure they did not run afoul of laws governing the sale of human organs, desecration of corpses, disposal of hospital waste, or food hygiene.  Japan has no specific law against cannibalism, only of destroying or improperly disposing of a corpse, since this could not be made to apply, authorities were left with trying to make do with charges of public indecency.  Japans public indecency laws are only valid indoors if the event charges for entry, which the penis eating show did not (they charged for the dining).  It was also deemed that the manner in which the genitals were eaten did not sufficiently stimulate the sexual desire of guests for it to constitute public obscenity.  In the end all charges were dropped as it turns out nobody involved actually did anything illegal.  The mayor of Suginami city was less than amused.

 

 

Personal Interrogation

It is an interrogation device in my manbag, and no, I'm not happy to see you.

Mathmatical Sorrow

Subtitles are awesome.

Magnetic Wizard

Lasssie-Bot

The Russians have been developing cold war, border collie battle cyborgs since the 1950's.  The project was shut down because the Lassie-Bots chase and retrieve when you throw a grenade.

 

Shatner Transformed

The Transformed Man by William Shatner.

 

No this is not Captain Kirk trying to be a robot in disguise to sneak onto the Next Generation series. Released in 1968, this is Shatner's staccato vocal style reciting famous pieces of poetry  juxtaposed with contemporary pop lyrics of the era.

 

 



But true Shatner enthusiasts can never co past the 2004 album entitled Has Been, produced and arranged by Ben Folds including songs composed by Shatner and Folds, in particular its sole cover song, a version of Pulp's "Common People" performed with Joe Jackson.

 

Presented here in a bonus Archie comic format.
 

 

 

Maria Rough and Dirty