Nazi Gnomes

The Little People by John Christopher.

Nazi gnomes with whips!

Book covers don't get any better than this. Seriously look at how awesome that little guy in front is.  I think his name is Frodo.

In his later years Frodo Baggins Turned to extreme political views seeking to oppress all humans with his evil army of far right wing hobbits.  It's not surprising Frodo went off the deep end.  He was never the same after that one unfortunate night witnessing Gandalf and Aragon with a strap on Bilbo.

Bobs Pets & Peas

If you listen closely to Blowing in the Wind by Bob Dylan you can hear:

"The ants are my friends,
they're blowin' in the wind
The ants are a-blowin' in the wind."

In Not Dark Yet the lyrics go:

"My sensitive manatee has gone down the drain."

In his song Man of Peace Dylan makes reference to the Exorcist:

"You know sometimes Satan comes as a can of peas."

Not surprising that Bob Dylan would turn up with some misheard lyrics considering his poor diction and frequent nasal tones. I'm sure if he turned up on Australian Idol the judges wouldn’t let him past the first stage audition for those same reasons.

I know he's not huge on material things but considering how successful he is and how often he is in the public eye, you'd think by now he would splash out and buy a comb.

Archimedes Lever

Archimedes was a hack.

He's fameous for saying: "Give me a place to stand on, and I can move the earth." Turns out no one would notice.

For a male adult to move the earth the fulcrum would need to be placed one kilometer from where it makes contact with the earth (at the south pole). The lever it's self would be six and a half billion light years long. Based on average male height, Archimedes would move his end approximately one point six meters (1.6m) which would translate to the earth being moved a distance less than the diameter of a proton.  What he didn't specify is that he also needs an equally immovable fulcrum and a lever of unbreakable material that has absoloutely no flex aross it's six hundred billion lightyear length.

I would wager that I could get a better result bastardising Newtons third law by moving every person on earth to the same landmass and having them to all jump at once.  While it would be a logistical nightmare, it's actually much more plausable than the fantastical notions of manufacturing an intergalactic sized phallic device of Archimedes.

Someone has actualy already figured out all the maths regarding this possibility. Lets see if I win my bet: Aproximatly 7 billion people with average weight of 50 kg (counting kids, midgets, hobbits etc); Jumping about one foot high.  You get the result from the push off part of the jump rather than the landing (which makes sense if you stop to think about what's happening) and the Earth would move about a hundredth of the radius of a hydrogen atom.

The hydrogen atom is aproximately 100,000 times larger than the proton. That means that the jumping method moves the earth around 1000 times more than the intergalactic lever.  So I win the bet!

Beetle Time

Makes perfect sense.

Wait what day does that make it today?

Valentines Heart

It's that day of the year again to share your heart with someone you love.

Pineapples

The word for pineapple in 45 languages.

Azerbaijani: ananas
Belarusian: ananas
Bulgarian: ananas
Croatian: ananas
Italian: ananas
Macedonian: ananas
Maltese: ananas
Norwegian: ananas
Polish: ananas
Romanian: ananas
Russian: ananas
Serbian: ananas
Slovenian: ananas
Swedish: ananas
Turkish: ananas
Ukrainian: ananas
Estonian: ananass
Georgian: ananasi
Greek: ananás
Portuguese: ananás
Slovak: ananás
Gujarati: Anēnāsa
Haitian: anana
Hindi: Anannāsa
Hungarian: ananász
Czech: ananas
Danish: ananas
Dutch: ananas
Finish: ananas
French: ananas
German: ananas
Icelandic: ananas
Indonesian: nanas
Malay: nanas
Irish: anann
Latvian: ananāsu
Bengali: Ānārasa
Lithuanian: ananasas
Tamil: Aṉṉāci
Swahili: mananasi
Kannada: Anānas haṇṇu
Telugu: Anāsa paṇḍu
English: pineapple

Thats right English you go do your own thing.

Carlos

Carlos is waiting for you with his luxurious bath oils and sensuous mood lighting.  Ready with a big glass of champagne for you to share, he has a sexy night planned for just the two of you.  If you're lucky he'll let you play with his dolphin.

So much for my valentine themed choice of LP cover.

Magic Sink

Like I was saying to my wife the other week, I think we have a magic sink.  I finish eating and put the plates in the sink for later, then I go back to wash them up about an hour or so later and remarkably they are all clean! It's a magic sink!