Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Avon Man

The Man from Avon written by Michael Avallone and published, not surprisingly, by Avon.
This could possibly be the most awesome story ever written.  Larry McKnight makes James Bond look like an amateur.  After saving the damsel from the UFOs and parachuting back to earth he's still ready with his product briefcase in hand to sell her books and makeup.

The unfortunate truth about Larry McKnight is that not having a government pay check like Bond, has forced him to devise elaborate schemes involving alien abductions and heroic rescues so he can make his sales quota through his clients feelings of gratuitous obligation.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Mumbled Angst

Yellow Ledbetter by Perl Jam.  A 90's classic that nobody has ever actually heard the real lyrics to.  Not even the members of Pearl Jam know the words, a fact that Eddie Vedder admits in the song.

That's the trouble with grunge musicians, they don't articulate their words properly.  Even Sid Vicious of the Sex Pistols had good enunciation.  None of this mumbled angst, he knew how to get his message across.

Make me fries.


Monday, November 21, 2011

My Little Skeletor

Mari Kasurienen is an artist who predominantly sculpts my little ponies, but good ones.

It was the My Little Skeletor that caught my eye first and I must say, I quite like it. She sculpts all sorts of Little Ponies (as well as other works) taking her inspiration from just about any pop culture image that takes her fancy at the time.

Here's her website:

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Monday, November 14, 2011

Eel Invasion

Discovered an unusual incident involving an eel that was reported in The Daily Telegraph a couple of months ago (September 17).

A man in the Hubei province of China was relaxing in a spa bath with live eels to let them feed on his dead skin when one started travelling up his urethra!  He's quoted saying: "I tried to hold it and take it out, but the eel was too slippery to be held and it disappeared up my penis."

After three hours of surgery to remove the 15 centimeter eel from his bladder, it was found dead.  The surgeon who extracted the eel explained: "The diameter of the urethra in a man's penis is just a little narrower. But because eels are quite slippery, its body worked as a lubricant and got into the penis smoothly."

He probably shouldn't have peed in the bath. Reminds me of that line from The Hitchers song: "Eels up inside ya. Finding an entrance where they can."

(I couldn't resist reposting the song)

Friday, November 11, 2011


From The Urban Dictionary


The anticipation one feels when waiting for a response to a text message.

"I just texted her for a date – but now the textpectation is killing me."

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Moon Gas

Moon gas is often caused by eating too many moon beans.  Now she's alone in her own little celestial cloud.

Performed by Dick Hyman and Mary Mayo...  at least it's not Mary Hyman with Dick Mayo.


Friday, November 04, 2011

Fire Demons!

After much research (well ok just a little bit) I have come to the conclusion that fire is alive!

It consumes (and requires) a fuel source to exist and leaves behind waste, it grows, it needs oxygen to breathe, it moves from one place to another, it can make baby fires, and dies. It could be argued that fire is just a bunch of chemical reactions, but I argue back that so are you. At the most basic level, living things like plants and animals are just self-sustaining chemical reactions, same as fire.

There is actually no unilateral agreed upon definition of life, but Generally there are considered to be seven traits something has to have to be considered to be alive. I'd like to point out that certain organisms, already accepted as being alive, don't have all seven of these traits.

The Seven Traits for Life:
1. Reactivity to the environment. Fires reacts more distinctly to differing environments than many microbes.
2. Ingestion of substance for energy to function. Yep.
3. Reproduction. Like asexual microbes fire can create offspring from its self.
4. Respiration. Fire requires oxygen, without oxygen it dies just like other forms of respiration. Some microbes don't actually respire anyway.
5. Emission of wastes. Yes, waste is produced from the consumption of fuels.
6. Internal Movement. Yes lots.
7. Cellular Structure. No, but neither do viruses which are generally considered to be some form of life.

See, fire is life Jim but not as we know it.  Fire is not so much extraterrestiral and alien life as it is primordial, and elemental.  It's dawn of time ancient. What sort of life is that?  A demon that's what! A fire demon!

In conclusion: Fire demons are real.