Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Pokey Penis

This months book is Penis Pokey by Christopher Behrens, a pop-up book of sorts.

Let's take a look inside.

Yeah, that's about what I expected.  There's also a companion Activity book available if you'd like to get more hands on.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Mario Twins

Mario Twins, music by Group X, video by Kieth McKnight.

Gewd Gawd.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Rock, Paper, Scissors

Rock, Paper, Scissors, it's played around the world and in more recent years the game has developed it's own official, professional circuit.

The game dates back to the Chinese Han Dynasty (206 BC – 220 AD) and was called Shoushiling (translates as hand command).  The original game consisted of Snake, Centipede & Frog, where the snake feared the poisonous centipede, the centipede feared the frog, and the frog feared the snake.

When the game reached Japan the hand sign for centipede was misinterpreted as slug or snail.  By the 17th century the hand gestures had changed to Stone, Scissors, Cloth in China (& its neighbour Korea) and to Stone, Scissors, Paper in Japan.  By the early 1920's the game had spread from Japan to Europe where it became widely popular but didn't seem to reach America until the 1930's. Some time through the 20th century the term rock replaced stone.
Last year researchers at the University of Tokyo developed a robot that has the capacity to beat any human challenger 100% of the time.  The robot is essentially, a camera-connected mechanical hand, driven by a supercomputer that knows how to cheat so well it is physically incapable of losing at the game.  The robot reads the shape of its human challengers hand faster than the human eye can, then translates that reading into its own pre-emptive response.
Aside from potentially losing to cheating fembots, the problem with Rock Paper Scissors is that three hand gestures give only 9 possible outcomes and a 33.33% chance of a tie.  A growingly popular variation Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock, adds a couple of extra hand gestures to help remedy this.  The rules of engagement are: Scissors cuts paper; Paper covers rock; Rock crushes lizard; Lizard poisons Spock; Spock smashes scissors; Scissors decapitates lizard; Lizard eats paper; Paper disproves Spock; Spock vaporises rock; Rock crushes scissors.

The addition of the extra two options gives 25 possible outcome combinations and lowers the chance of a tie to 20%.
But when you are trying to make a serious decisions 20% chance of a tie is still far to great.  Again the solution is to add more gestures.  Fortunately someone by the name of David Lovelace has already developed the expanded solution.  Lovelace has devised a 25 gesture game, he seems to have renamed Spock to Alien (presumably to avoid and copyright trouble) and has reverted the Lizard to Snake.

Each gesture beats out twelve gestures, and is beaten by the remaining twelve, resulting in 300 possible outcomes and only a 4% chance of a tie.

But in the age of extreme sports this is just still not enough.  What's needed is extreme rock paper scissors and fortunately Lovelace delivers again. Extreme Rock Paper Scissors consists of 101 gesture many of which are so extreme they require two hands to form.

The game is Rock, Death, Wall, Sun, Camera, Fire, Chainsaw, School, Scissors, Poison, Cage, Axe, Peace, Computer, Castle, Snake, Blood, Porcupine, Vulture, Monkey, King, Queen, Prince, Princess, Police, Woman, Baby, man, Home, Train, Car, Noise, Bicycle, Tree, Turnip, Duck, Wolf, Cat, Bird, Fish, Spider, Cockroach, Brain, Community, Cross, Money, Vampire, Sponge, Church, Butter, Book, Paper, Cloud, Airplane, Moon, Grass, Film, Toilet, Air, Planet, Guitar, Bowl, Cup, Beer, Rain, Water, TV, Rainbow, UFO, Alien, Prayer, Mountain, Satan, Dragon, Diamond, Platinum, Gold, Devil, Fence, Game, Maths, Robot, Heart, Electricity, Lightning, Medusa, Power, Laser, Nuke, Sky, Tank, Helicopter, Dynamite, Tornado, Quicksand, Pit, Chain, Gun, Law, Whip, Sword.

Each gesture beats fifty gestures and is beaten by the remaining fifty gestures. The 101 gestures results in 5,050 outcomes with only a 0.99% chance of a tie! Follow this link here to open an interactive chart showing what beats what or follow this link here for a printable friendly list describing the gestures and their descriptive spoken outcomes such as "Scissors Stabs Brain", "Robot Hurls Rock" and "Rainbow Irritates Satan".  Follow this link here and you can purchase David Lovelaces RPS-101 guidebook describing all gestures and their verbal descriptions.


Saturday, March 16, 2013

Wednesday, March 13, 2013


No nothing to do with extreme Zen meditaton, back in the 16th century mathmatical number powers were written out in words rather than as superscripted numbers.  Zenzizenzizenzic is the eighth power of a number.  The  term was suggested by Robert Recorde, a writer of popular mathematics textbooks, in his 1557 work The Whetstone of Witte.  Although, being Welsh, his spelling of zenzizenzizenzic was zenzizenzizenzike and wrote in his book that it  "doeth represent the square of squares squaredly".


Sunday, March 10, 2013

Gonad Restaurant

Guo Li Zhuang restaurant is the sort of place where you won't be surprised to find a bone in your soup.  The establishment erected it's open sign in 2006, offering all kinds of dishes with animal genitalia as the primary ingredient.  Many Chinese believe animal penises increase male potency and do wonders for women’s skin.  Word about the anatomical wonders served at the restaurant spread quickly, and there are now four franchised locations throughout Beijing and one in Atlanta’s Chinatown.  The name of the restaurant is derived from homophones of the family name of its founder (Guo), the family name of his wife (Li), as well as the nickname of his son (Zhuang) and translates as "the strength inside the pot".
The Guo Li Zhuang plates up private parts of a wide variety of species from testicular delights of the dog, the dork of the donkey and the placenta of the deer, to the trouser snake of the snake and the cock of the cock to name but a few.  The dishes include traditional medicinal secrets passed down in the Guo family and are often given poetic names such as The Essence of the Golden Buddha, Phoenix Rising, Jasmine Flowers with 1000 Layers, Look for the Treasure in the Desert Sand, Head crowned with a Jade Bracelet, and Dragon in the Flame of Desire.  In addition to the mouth watering genitals, the restaurant also carries such rare delicacies as stewed deer face, sheep foetus in brown garlic sauce, and peacock claws.
So if you're in the neighbourhood and looking for a hot meal with a sex pot, don’t' go South for sushi, go down to Guo Li Zhuang restaurant for a mouth watering meal you can blow your own horn about later.  Also, just in case you were wondering, none of the five locations have a head chef called Wang.

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Newtons Law of Hair

The Best of Wayne Newton.

It's just the hair!

Newtons law: F=ma  (Fame = hair mass x regrowth acceleration)